What Sort of Fan Are You?

It takes all sorts… What sort of fan are you and how many of these are in your block?

1. The Celebrity…
Always arrives fashionably late, the ‘celeb’ will take an age to get to his seat as he swaps jeers and banter from any number of admirers, cohorts and mates en route to his destination. This guy is seemingly known by all and it might be a good 20 minutes by the time he finally sits down.

2. The Incontinent….
Usually a 7 year old child loaded to the eyeballs with red fizzy pop and e-numbers who cannot last more than 10 minutes without seeking out the toilets once again, climbing all over you and generating ‘tuts’ from the entire row of upstanding supporters. Alternatively it is the hardened drinker who decided on that last pint at quarter to kick-off.incontinent
3. The Pie Eater…
This is a real devotee and very driven so don’t get in the way.
Usually arrives with a pie and by 38 minutes is sending down for another. The manner in which they disembowel their chicken balti pie armed only with a plastic fork is a thing of wonder. Can often be heard debating the merits of Pukka versus Fleur De Lys with a steely glaze in their eyes.
pie-eater

4. The Coach…
You know thoe one. Usually wears the classic coaches’ coat and stares intently at events on the pitch tutting loudly when a pass goes astray and loudly berating every substitution. He will have a louder than necessary voice and aim his astute words of wisdom at nobody in particular. Favourite one liners: “He’s not tracking back!”, “He’s strayed out of the hole!” and “You’ve got to win more second phase ball!”
coach
5. The Red Cross Aid Worker…
The RCAW is usually a middle aged femaile carrying a large bag that contains a three course cold buffet, and enough boiled sweets to sink the QE II. This kindly soul will be offering nourishment and sustenance to any takers within a five yard radius at half time and will be really offended if you turn down the offer of an egg mayonnaise floured bap or Murray Mint.

6. The Waver…
This one will irritate the hell out of anyone sat behind them with their incessant arm waving as if they are trying to bring a plane in. They will have a mobile pressed to their ear and be shouting: “Can you see me?! I’m waving! In the blue seats yes! Have you got me!?”
When they have eventually been spotted they can sit down, happy in the knowledge that their mate knows whereabouts they are sitting. Why, we don’t know.
waver
7. The First Timer…
An absolute doddle to spot. Usually bought a scarf from a dodgy vendor on the way to the ground (it will be red, white and blue with ‘Leicester – Pride of the North’ on it). Can be heard asking: “So which one is Izzy Muzzet then?”
Often tagged along with a highly embarrassed mate who slinks further and further into his seat as the FT shouts and claps and sings in ALL the wrong places.

8. The Loner…
Usually male and happy to travel and watch the game alone. Might smell a little bit odd and look as though they need an iron for Christmas. The Loner is never far from his trusty plastic carrier bag, the contents of which will forever remain a mystery. Will mutter and chunter under their breath to anyone close enough to listen. Might still live with his Mum. 
loner

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